I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I’ve always thought of myself as having a great relationship with myself and as someone who isn’t afraid of a whole lot. I know myself well, and I eat (relatively) well, take care of my body, get a good night’s sleep, have a job I enjoy, and financial stability. I have hobbies that I enjoy– but self-admittedly do not spend the time on that I would like to. I read an article on the infamous Thought Catalog entitled, Who Would You Be if you Weren’t Afraid?
“Who would I be? I would be me. I’m not afraid,” I assured myself. Reading through the post I realize that I have made some very brave decisions for myself: moving to Florida for the Disney College Program; moving to Tampa– almost on a whim; getting better within a year and a half after moving back to New York; moving back to Orlando to figure out where to go from there… and finally, moving to Tampa despite the comfortable things I had built in Orlando. Of the things I have done, the move to Tampa was probably the biggest challenge.
Since moving here, I have found so many things to love– friends, church, Tampa activities, wonderful co-workers, a good job. Since moving to Tampa, though, I feel that I am constantly challenging myself against whether or not I am doing what is good for me, or doing what I want. Being the planner that I am (but sometimes try not to be), I am happy with my job and where 25-year-old Amanda is at. But Amanda wants to travel. I want to see the world and I want to adventure, and scratch my knees, and get blisters on my toes from running too far, and be scratchy from 100 bug bites from sleeping under a blanket of stars in the middle of nowhere. I made a bucket list recently, but I’m not entirely sure where it went… so I guess I’ll have to make a new one.
On my 26th birthday, which is coming up, I will post a list of “30 Things Before I’m 30.” I would like to have more hobbies– more things that I am truly passionate about. I would like to say “yes” more. I would like to be more loving and more giving and more accepting. I would like to be less anxious (more free!), less unsure (more confident!), and less fearful (more brave!). I think this is achievable.
So, who would I be if I weren’t afraid? Something to ponder.
Who would you be if you weren’t afraid? What is something you have always wanted to do but have not? What’s holding you back? What can you do to get or do what you have always wanted to do?