My friend Jess recently posted on her blog, Curating Style, about the difficulty of making friends as an adult. I’ve been thinking a lot about her post and my experience in making friends since college. Since then, I’ve realized that it’s probably one of the most difficult things to do… and I’m working full time and enrolled in a full-time MBA program.
Let’s overview of my life since college… Moved back to Rochester, NY: had some friends around from high school, but didn’t really meet anyone new that I hung out with. Moved to Orlando in December 2010: this is when I met my ex (at work), some other (great!!) friends (at work). Moved to Tampa in August 2011: really bonded with a few co-workers, recently met some great people through church and my MBA program.
Moral of the story: Making friends as an adult is really, really hard.
When I was seven, I took swimming lessons, and there was a girl in my class who likely asked how I was doing or made a comment about the swimming lesson, I responded, she said, “want to be friends?” and I said, “sure.”
No longer are things so simple. I think as we get older, we do have time constraints and things like that holding us back from keeping up connections with old friends, but more than that is it that it’s just as hard to MEET new, worthwhile friends as it is to meet a good man (or woman)? Do we use the same techniques to make friends that we do to find a romantic partner? Are we willing to put up with more from our friends than from a partner? Less? Are we too picky with friendships, or maybe not picky enough?
I have met some of my closest friends here in Florida, and am endlessly lucky to have them just a phone call (or 1-2 hour drive) away. However, I can’t forget my close friends who are still up in New York (and Hawaii, and Illinois, and Ohio, and Maryland, and California, and soon-to-be Australia). Thank the lord for Facebook threads and Google Docs and people who aren’t terrible at staying in touch. Two of my close friends are getting married next weekend, and it breaks my heart that I can’t make it (CONGRATS AGAIN, KELLY & MARA <3). But that’s work, and life, and growing up. Isn’t it?
But I like meeting new people! And I like making new friends, and having old ones, and being social with worthwhile friendships that are easy and comfortable. I guess that’s how I like to go into new romantic relationships too– if I feel like I’ve known you forever, it’s heading in a good direction.
SO, maintaining/ creating friendships without letting life get in the way. Talk about a balancing act. It reminds me of this:
Well, that’s all for now. Until… next time 🙂
If you have any miraculous tips or advice, please comment below!